monkey!

May 6, 2007

Starbucks sucks.

First off, I know there is a lot of people who hate Starbucks just because it’s the cool thing to do, but I am not one of those! I am a sheep in many ways, but this isn’t one of them.

Tonight, I went to Starbucks for the first time in my life. Now, you can already see I have no actual credentials to say Starbucks sucks because I’ve only been there once but I will still rant like my opinion actually holds value.

I decided to stop at Chapters tonight, it was a lonely Saturday night for me and I figured picking up a good read would do me well for this lonely evening. I picked up 1984 by George Orwell, but me being 21 and still having not read that is a whole other story that I won’t delve into.

Anyways, onto Starbucks! I was craving something warm, comforting, and new, and lucky me, every Chapters has a Starbucks located within it. I go up to the line and order a “Green Tea Latte”. I do not know what a latte is at all, but I love green tea so it couldn’t be so bad. Since I needed some comfort food, I also ordered one of those giant cookies, oatmeal raisin to be specific.

I hop into my car and arrive at work (It is quiet here, I want peace and quiet today. I am not actually working at 9pm on a Saturday)

My “Green Tea Latte” looks pretty impressive. It has some nice cream on top, and looks yummy! I take a few sips, and the cream is pretty nice. It mixes well with the green tea. Soon enough, I get onto the actual tea. Argh, what is this? I don’t know what the hell I am drinking but it sure as hell doesn’t taste like green tea. This tastes like heavily sugared milk. I take a bite of the cookie, and it’s hard and kind of flaky. I got served a cookie that was probably sitting around since 9am this morning.

I finished my tea and cookie, and am pretty disappointed in general of tonight now. In essence, Starbucks probably kicks a ton of ass since it is an insanely popular chain of stores that has mushroomed in the last few years, but my experience with Starbucks tonight was painful.

So yes, Starbucks sucks … but I will be back to try their other green tea selections, because I am a sheep.

My Starbucks cup had this little piece of advice written on it:

“The most relevant pieces of advice I received regarding marriage: You can only be as happy as the least happy person in the house, and two bathrooms are mandatory.”

Ok, Thanks Starbucks!